Following Up Quotes to Family Member Who Lost a Loved One

Signing a sympathy card isn't piece of cake. We search for words. We wonder what would be comforting to hear. We worry about maxim the wrong thing…

But even though it'due south non like shooting fish in a barrel, it is important to attain out in sympathy. Our words tin can't accept away the hurting of losing a loved 1, but they can go a long style toward helping a grieving person feel loved and supported.

You lot should know right up front end that you won't find the perfect matter to write here. However, you lot will notice ideas from seasoned Hallmark writers for good, helpful and hopeful things to write in a sympathy bill of fare.

We promise our tips assistance y'all relax, write and share your heartfelt caring with someone who is going through a fourth dimension of grief.

Sympathy Letters: What to Write in a Sympathy Card

• Condolences
• Appreciation
• Offer to Assist
• Following Up
• Sudden or Unexpected Death
• When Someone Has Died by Suicide
• When Yous Cannot Attend the Memorial Service
• Loss of Parent
• Loss of Spouse or Partner
• Loss of Child
• Miscarriage
• Loss of Pet
• Sympathy Closings
• What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card
• What to write in a sympathy menu VIDEO

Condolences

There are many good reasons for keeping your personal sympathy bulletin brusk. It could be that the carte du jour has already expressed most or all of what you lot wanted to say. Or maybe y'all didn't know the deceased well, or at all. Whatever the reason, you can admittedly be brief and still encounter as warm and caring.

Examples

• "We are and then deplorable for your loss."
• "I'm going to miss her, too."
• "I hope you lot feel surrounded by much love."
• "Sharing in your sadness as you call back Juan."
• "Sharing in your sadness equally you remember Dan."
• "Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so pitiful for your loss."
• "With deepest sympathy equally you call up Robert."
• "I was saddened to hear that your grandfather passed away. My thoughts are with you and your family unit."
• "Remembering your wonderful mother and wishing you comfort."
• "It was truly a pleasure working with your father for 17 years. He volition be deeply missed."
• "Thinking of you all as y'all gloat your sibling's remarkable life."
• "Thinking of you all equally you celebrate your grandmother'south remarkable life."
• "We are missing Anne forth with you. With heartfelt sympathy,"
• "Thinking of you and wishing you moments of peace and condolement equally yous call back a friend who was so close to you."
• "Our family is keeping your family unit in our thoughts and prayers."
• "Holding y'all close in my thoughts and hoping you are doing OK."
• "Even though there is joy in the homegoing, in that location is sorrow in your loss. Thinking of y'all at this tender time."
• "Te acompaño en estos momentos de gran tristeza."

Writing tip: If you knew the person who has passed simply not the surviving family member(southward) to whom yous're sending your card, it might be helpful to mention your connexion to their loved one (from school, through work, etc.).

Appreciation

It tin can be a great condolement to a grieving person or family to hear that others thought highly of their loved one, also. If you knew and admired the loved one who has transitioned, exist sure to let your recipient(s) know.

Examples

• "What an amazing person and what a remarkable life. I feel so lucky that I got to know him."
• "What a good and generous man your father was. I thought his funeral service was a wonderful tribute to him and all he has done for our community. He will exist missed."
• "Your granddad believed in uplifting everyone in his circle. I was one of those people. And I am then honored to have known him."
• "Your mama was an astonishing lady, and I experience privileged to accept known her. I know you will miss her deeply. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers."
• "Celebrating the life of a adept person and mourning their passing with you."
• "Celebrating the life of a good human and mourning his passing with you."
• "Your daughter touched and so many lives for the proficient. I'm grateful I had the chance to know her as both a colleague and a cherished friend."
• "Your mother blessed and so many people with her faith and kindness. Praying that you'll find comfort in your memories of her and in the knowledge that others are missing her, besides."
• "Our abuela told united states of america our stories, passed downwardly traditions and held us together in love. We are so blessed to come from her and to experience her love from heaven."
• "I have the best memories of staying with Aunt Edie as a kid. I don't think I've told you this, but starting when I was about ten, she would take me to Becker'due south for ice cream cones…and permit me drive! Merely Aunt Edie…I'1000 going to miss her fun-loving spirit so much."
• "Nobody could tell a funny story like your mom. Recollect at your graduation political party—the story about the vacuuming incident? My face hurt for a total day after from laughing so much. I'll always cherish those memories of fun times spent with her."
• "Your mama was always doing for people. A lot of people have been blest by her kindness and hold her close in their hearts."
• "Qué persona tan maravillosa y qué vida tan extraordinaria. Me alegra mucho el haberla conocido."

Writing tip: Need a more specific give-and-take than "good" to describe the deceased? Consider one of these: kindhearted, talented, admired, unforgettable, fun-loving, funny, wonderful, well-loved, lovely, sweetness, generous, ane-of-a-kind, one-in-a-1000000, honorable, respected, caring, hardworking, strong, energetic, happy.

Offer to Help

If you lot're in a position to help your recipient with arrangements, meals, housework, k work, childcare or something else, and so feel complimentary to include an offer to practise and so equally office of your message. Just be sure to follow upwards and follow through.

Examples

• "I know I can't make your pain go away, just I want y'all to know I'm here with a shoulder or an ear or annihilation else you need."
• "Thinking of your family with love and wanting to help out in whatsoever way I can. I'll call to see when would be a good night to bring over a meal."
• "You've got so much on your mind and on your eye correct now. We hope information technology volition make one less worry to know that Kevin and I will be taking care of the yard for every bit long as you need."
• "I know this must be a very difficult and demanding time for you all. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. If there is annihilation we tin can do—from walking Max to picking up your dry out cleaning, please let us know."
• "Information technology's and so of import to get your rest. I'll take the kids for a couple of hours whenever you demand time to sit quietly."
• "Sé que no puedo desaparecer el dolor que estás sintiendo, pero aquí estoy para lo que necesites."

Writing tip: In full general, the more specific your offer of help, the ameliorate. And no task is too modest.

Following Upwardly

When someone you know is grieving, you might want to offer ongoing letters of back up in the weeks and months following the loss of their loved one. You can send these cards to note an occasion like the loved one'south birthday, a wedding anniversary, holidays or any other fourth dimension when the grieving person may need extra support.

Examples

• "It'due south been a while, but I know that the hurt doesn't become abroad when the cards and casseroles practise. I'm still here for you lot."
• "But wanted to let yous know we're remembering your mom on her altogether and sending lots of caring thoughts your way."
• "I know Christmas won't be the same without DeMarcus, but I hope information technology helps a little to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, especially through the holidays."
• "Hard to believe it's been a year since we said skillful-cheerio to Noah. Couldn't permit this anniversary go by without letting you know that I'thousand thinking of you."
• "This Kwanzaa season, there is a new ancestor to honor. Thinking of you, your mother and your family as you light the kinara."
• "Solo quería que supieras que sigo pensando en ti y en tu familia."

Writing tip: You lot will discover some cards specific to sympathy follow-up, just you lot might also choose to get with an encouragement or thinking-of-you card, or a bare card with a beautiful or lighthearted photo on the comprehend, depending on the tone you're going for.

Sudden or Unexpected Death

Information technology'southward never easy to lose someone we love. But ofttimes, a loss that no 1 saw coming tin can lead to complicated grief. This might be considering of the deceased's young age or credible good health or an blow or other tragic circumstances. Whatever the case, these kinds of losses phone call for additional comfort, understanding and ongoing support.

Examples

• Words Fail: "I'one thousand not sure what to say in the confront of such a difficult loss. But want you to know that I intendance most you, and I share in your sadness."
• Acknowledging Unexpectedness: "We were surprised and saddened to hear most Mike's passing. He was such a good guy. We're going to miss him and so much, too."
• I'm Lamentable: "I'm deeply pitiful your family is experiencing the hurting of a loss similar this. My heart goes out to each of y'all."
• This Is Particularly Hard: "We never would have felt gear up to say skilful-bye to someone every bit special every bit Christina, only this timing feels especially tough. Wishing your family condolement and force for the days and weeks ahead. We'll be praying for all of you."
• Wishes/Prayers: "Keeping y'all in my warmest thoughts as you navigate this difficult fourth dimension—and wishing you hope and healing when y'all're set up."
• I'm Here for You: "It's going to accept time to get through the shock of this loss. Just want you to know nosotros'll be here for you all the way."
• Ongoing Support: "Hey, I know it'due south been a couple of months since you lost Ernesto. Just want yous to know I haven't forgotten. I'm still thinking about you. And I'm here to help out, listen, whatever yous need."
• Cuando no encuentras las palabras adecuadas: "Ojalá supiera qué decirte dues esta pérdida tan inesperada… Pero lo que sí quiero que sepas es que lo siento mucho."

Pro Tip: If everything you try to write feels wrong or awkward, so keep your message curt. The simple act of sending a bill of fare communicates caring—even if y'all simply sign it "With deepest sympathy" followed by your proper noun.

When Someone Has Died past Suicide

Losing a loved one to suicide is devastating, and the isolation that can upshot from others not knowing what to say or how to support has its own sting. Making the try to connect is an important first step. Offer your sincere condolences without questions and without judgment.

Examples

• Loss of Shut Friend: "Trey was such a dear and loyal friend. He made an incredible bear on on me and I volition miss him so much. All my thoughts are with you and your family unit."
• Loss of Family Member of Shut Friend: "Friend, there are no words for something equally heartbreaking as this. I wish you didn't have to know this hurting. Call me any time, twenty-four hour period or night, and I'll be checking in with y'all through the days and weeks to come up."
• Unintentional (e.g. overdose): "I know how difficult your sibling was struggling and how much your family unit has been through, and I'thou and so deplorable this happened."
• Military machine/PTSD: "Your family has served this country with courage and honor. You have then much to be proud of. I hope that tin bring you some comfort in your heartache."
• "It's not fair that PTSD took someone who already gave so much of himself/herself to others. It shouldn't be this way. I hope that y'all feel surrounded by love and back up every step of this journey."
• Immature Person: "I'm still stunned about Ramesh. I can't imagine what such a loving family unit similar yours is going through right now. Ramesh really shone his lite when he was here. I loved that about him. He will be remembered and loved e'er."
• LGBTQ: "Kai was 100% themselves, and I loved that about them. Their self-assuredness is something that will always inspire me even as I miss them so much. If you ever want to share memories and stories, I'k here."
• En este momento tan difícil de entender.
• Pérdida de un familiar o amigo: "No puedo imaginar lo que están sintiendo en este momento tan difícil de entender, pero espero que tú y tu familia encuentren paz y consuelo en los gratos recuerdos de su ser amado. Los acompaño en su dolor."

Writing Tips:Acknowledge that the topic of suicide is very sensitive, and the recipient may take many complicated feelings. It'south important not to share your opinions on suicide and instead be supportive of the person grieving and yet they are experiencing grief.

Language Note: In being empathetic toward people whose lives have been impacted by suicide, information technology is important to avoid terms like "committing suicide," which can evoke feelings of guilt and blame. Instead, say "died of suicide" or "died past suicide."

When You Cannot Attend the Memorial Service

It's a very human instinct to want to offering condolences and support in person when someone has died. However, for a diversity of reasons—either your own circumstances or the family's need to forego or delay a memorial service—it may be impossible to practice so. In those cases, you may wish to say a little more in your written message.

Examples

• Wish I Could Be With You: "I wish I could exist in that location to honor your dad along with yous. He was a peachy human."
• Looking Ahead to a Memorial Later on On: "I know Kara'due south memorial service won't happen for a few months still. Just didn't want to let that much time go by without reaching out to tell y'all how saddened I am by her passing. She was such a sweetheart. She'll exist deeply missed."
• This Is Hard: "Information technology'south hard to lose someone who meant so much to all of us, and even harder that we can't all be together to say good-adieu. We want you to know we're with yous in spirit—now and in the days and weeks ahead."
• I'yard Hither for You lot in Other Ways: "Fifty-fifty though I can't be there for Tom's service, just want you to know I'one thousand here to drib food by, mow the lawn or anything else that comes upward."
• Homegoing: "There is a celebration in sky and a celebration in our hearts fifty-fifty though we can't be there to put our arms around you."
• "Ojalá pudiera estar ahí contigo para honrar la memoria de tu papá. Fue un gran hombre."

Pro Tip: When you tin can't exist there to honor the deceased in person, y'all might also cull to make some kind of honoring gesture in addition to sending a sympathy bill of fare.

Loss of Parent

It's never piece of cake to lose a parent. No matter how old nosotros are, no matter how close or complicated the human relationship, it hits hard. And it calls for some special words of comfort. (Note: These message examples alternate references to female parent and father but could piece of work for either.)

Examples

• Compliment: "Your father was such a wonderful man. I was lucky to know him."
• She'll Always Be With Y'all: "You'll always remember how information technology felt to laugh with her and be loved past her. I hope those memories volition bring condolement in time."
• He Lives on in You: "The lessons your dad taught yous, the love he gave, the mode he cared for people…all those expert things alive on in you."
• You Were a Condolement: "Yous were a joy to your mother all your life, and a huge condolement to her over these past few months. It'southward pitiful to lose her, but I hope you feel good most the way you were there for her."
• Miss Him As well: "Only wanted to say how much your male parent meant to me, and how much I miss him, too."
• Loved Her Besides: "Your mom was such a expert friend. I loved her, also."
• When You Didn't Know Him: "I didn't have the chance to know your father, but I know he must take been someone special to accept raised a great son like you."
• This Is Hard: "It's and then hard saying good day to your mom. My heart goes out to yous correct at present."
• He was a colonnade in our customs: "Your daddy was father, brother, uncle and wise elder to then many in our community. He was much of a man."
• Share a Memory: "Nobody could match your dad for making people feel special. I'll always remember being the smallest kid on the pee-wee baseball team he coached, but feeling big, because he made me team helm."
• Siempre estará contigo: "El amor infinito de tu mamá siempre permanecerá en tu corazón, y su recuerdo vivirá para siempre en nuestras memorias. Lo sentimos mucho."

Pro Tip: If you lot've lost a parent yourself, it'southward fine to mention that, but accept care not to make your bulletin more most you and your experience. Go along the focus on sending comfort and back up to the person you're writing to, and don't assume you understand exactly how they feel.

Loss of Spouse or Partner

Someone who's just lost their spouse or partner is both grieving and likewise facing a huge aligning to their day-to-twenty-four hour period living and sense of identity. Whether they've been sharing life for six years or sixty years, information technology'southward a shock to lose that feeling of togetherness in everything. You might choose to admit this in a direct or indirect manner in what yous write.

Examples

• Compliment the Relationship: "What the two of you shared was truly something special. You loved each other so well."
• Compliment the Deceased: "Stephanie was one of the funniest, virtually vibrant people I've ever met. I'm so grateful I got to know her."
• He'll Always Exist With You lot: "Someone who shared and so much of life with you lot will forever be a part of yous. Keeping y'all in my prayers as yous remember your husband."
• Have Care of Yourself: "I know the days and months alee will be a big adjustment, and then please give yourself a lot of grace. Do whatever you need to have care of you—and know I'k hither for yous, likewise."
• I Believe in You lot: "I know it must feel like this pain volition never end. But I believe in my heart that comfort will observe yous when you're ready. I believe yous've got the strength to come through. And in fourth dimension, I hope yous'll believe it, too."
• Miss Her Too: "Linda was such a terrific colleague and friend. I miss her securely."
• Loved Him Too: "I hope information technology helps a little to hear how much Matt was loved past others, besides—me, for ane."
• When You Don't Know the Surviving Spouse/Partner: "Even though we oasis't had the hazard to meet in person, I feel like I know yous from the glowing way Jim talked most you. It was like shooting fish in a barrel to see how much he loved you."
• This Is Hard: "Losing the one y'all love is so hard. So I'm praying hard for yous—for peace, for comfort, for any you need correct now."
• Share a Retention: "I was just thinking nearly Anne's unforgettable dinner parties—especially the one with the notorious lemon-bar incident. That was the best. And SHE was the all-time."
• Share What'southward True: "He held yous down and lifted you upwards in this world. I hope yous tin can still feel him and his dearest around y'all."
• Admiración hacia la pareja: "El amor que compartieron fue realmente especial. Deseo de todo corazón que su recuerdo te traiga tranquilidad y consuelo."

Writing Tip: For a surviving spouse who still has kids living it home, consider including them in your message. Y'all could mention them in your greeting ("Dear Ellen and Family" or "Dear Finn, Katie, and Joe"), in the body of your message, or both. Another option would be to send a separate carte to each of the kids.

Loss of Kid

This is an especially tough one. Every parent wants and then much to nurture, protect, and see their kid grow upwards, but sadly, life doesn't always work out that manner. When writing to someone who'due south lost a child, try to relax and retrieve that the gesture of reaching out volition probably mean just equally much as the actual words you write.

Examples

• Compliment: "Della was such a sweetness girl. I wish she could have stayed with yous, and with all of us, for so much longer."
• They'll Ever Be a Role of You lot: "Yous'll always miss Alex, but they'll always be with you in the memories yous continue, the stories your family tells, the laughter you share, and the dear you all hold for them. May those good things help heal the injure in time."
• I'm Sorry: "So deeply sorry you take to become through a heartbreak like this. Sharing in your sorrow and keeping your family in our most caring prayers."
• Fourth dimension Was Brusque/Love Was Big: "Even though Maddie was with us for too short a fourth dimension, she filled the world effectually her with so much joy. And you lot filled hers with then much love."
• His Life Mattered: "Though we only got to hold him for a footling while, he brought united states of america together and brought so many smiles. Celebrating all the days that were brighter because he was here."
• Loved Her Too: "I promise there's some comfort in knowing how much we loved Aya, too."
• Miss Him Likewise: "Missing Henry right along with you."
• This Is Heartbreaking: "It just feels wrong that you should take to say farewell to your child. Whatever you're feeling, delight know you lot're not alone. I'k merely ane of many who want to do whatever we can to support you lot in the weeks and months to come up."
• Share a Memory: "Jamal was the get-go to be a friend to everyone who needed one. I was merely remembering when our class got a new pupil this spring, and Jamal fabricated a point of sitting with him at lunch. He was a special child."
• Siempre será parte de ti: "Tu hijo es una estrella en el cielo, y su luz iluminará siempre tu camino y tu corazón."

Writing Tip: You tin can adapt most of these message ideas for parents who have lost an developed son or daughter. The heartbroken feeling that life isn't supposed to piece of work like this will nevertheless apply—and the demand for caring, support, and prayers will be like, besides.

Miscarriage

Miscarriage is the kind of loss that you may but know about if you're part of the mom'southward or couple's inner circle of family and friends. If that'south the case, you take a unique opportunity be a source of comfort and back up in a world that doesn't know.

Examples

• Your Loss Is Real: "The love yous felt for your baby-to-exist was real, and and then is the loss yous're experiencing. I hope you tin can be gentle with yourself and honour whatever yous're feeling correct at present."
• I'thou Sorry: "I'g then sorry you've had to allow become of the dreams you were already cherishing for your babe."
• This Is Hard: "I can't begin to understand all you're feeling right now, but I know it tin't be like shooting fish in a barrel. I wish yous didn't have to go through a loss like this."
• Wish for Healing: "Keeping yous and Keisha in my thoughts and hoping for healing to come to y'all in time."
• I'm Here for Yous: "I was deeply saddened to hear you've had a miscarriage. Just desire you to know I'thou here for you lot—to talk, to bring over a meal, or whatever y'all need right now."
• It's Non Your Fault: "Just wanted to remind you that there was nothing you lot could or should have washed differently. Sometimes these things only happen. I'g sorry it had to happen to yous."
• Lo siento: "Siento mucho la pérdida de tu bebé. Aquí estoy para ti, para hablar, para escucharte, para lo que necesites."

Writing Tip: Information technology'south sorry for an expecting mother to lose a pregnancy even when she already has children, or may keep to have others. Then avoid saying annihilation like "At least you already have Emma" or "You tin always try once more." Those thoughts come from a expert identify, only they take a chance implying that the mom or couple should just get over information technology speedily and move on.

Find more letters and ways to support parents who accept lost a baby.

Loss of Pet

Pets are genuinely family members for a lot of usa, and when nosotros lose one, information technology can be a huge condolement to have others recognize how much they meant and how pitiful it is to say goodbye.

Examples

• Compliment: "Benny was such a practiced dog. So sorry you've had to say farewell to him."
• You Loved Her Well: "From your first howdy, to your last goodbye, Shadow felt how much y'all loved her. She was 1 lucky kitty to take yous for her person."
• Wish for Good Memories: "Wishing you smiles amid the tears as you lot remember happy times with your loyal companion and friend."
• She'll Always Be Part of You: "Trixie may be gone from your lap, but she'll stay in your heart forever."
• Miss Him Too: "I was so sad to hear well-nigh Speck. I sure am going to miss seeing him when I'one thousand out walking."
• She Meant a Lot: "Our fur babies hold such an of import place in our lives and our hearts. Thinking of you as you remember Gertie."
• Share a Memory: "I'll never forget walking into your kitchen and finding every single cabinet open up and Fluff peeking out from a drawer. He was such a clever cat."
• "Lucas era un perro tan bueno y cariñoso. Siento mucho que hayas tenido que decirle adiós."

Pro Tip: If your recipient has had to make the difficult decision to have their pet put to sleep, consider affirming them in that decision. Let them know y'all support their pick, that y'all know it wasn't easy, that yous share their sadness merely are glad their friend isn't hurting anymore.

Sympathy Closings

A warm, respectful closing is a graceful way to wrap up your sympathy message. Choose one of these, or create your own.

• With sympathy,
• With deepest sympathy,
• With heartfelt sympathy,
• With prayers and sympathy,
• With sincere sympathy,
• With warm thoughts and prayers,
• With caring,
• With love at this deplorable fourth dimension,
• In caring sympathy,
• With you in sorrow,
• Sharing your sadness,
• Thinking of you,
• Caring thoughts are with you,
• God bless,
• God bless you and condolement you,
• Keeping you in our prayers,
• Lifting you upward in prayer,
• Praying for you lot,
• Wishing you peace,
• Wishing you healing,
• My eye goes out to you lot,
• Please take our condolences,
• My sincere condolences,
• Prayerfully,
• Con el más sentido pésame,

What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card

Hither are a few thoughts and phrases to avoid in sympathy cards, because they gamble either minimizing the recipients' unique feelings of grief or really making them feel worse.

Examples

• "I know how you feel." Nosotros all experience and procedure grief differently.
• "She was so young." No need for a potentially painful reminder.
• "What a terrible loss." Avoid habitation on the pain or difficulty of the loss.
• "You should…" Instead of advice, offering condolement and support.
• "You will…" Steer articulate of predictions most how their grief journeying will become.
• "This happened for a reason." Fifty-fifty with the best intentions behind it, this thought risks assigning blame for the death.
• "Sé cómo te sientes." No es bueno asumir cómo se sienten las personas. Todos experimentamos el duelo de manera diferente.

Writing tip: If you're notwithstanding worried nigh proverb the incorrect thing, and then continue your message very brusk. The uncomplicated act of sending the menu lets your recipient know yous care.

What to write in a sympathy card VIDEO

Find out the unproblematic formula for crafting your ain sympathy message and become some real life examples and lookout-outs from Authentication Senior Writer Cat Hollyer.

• Tags:
• Greeting Bill of fare Messages and Ideas
• What to write video guide

• Credits:
• Additional contributions past Cat Hollyer, Linda Barnes, Allyson Melt and Suzanne Heins. Melvina Young, Megan Haave and Cindy Phillips.

Keely Chace is a Hallmark Chief Writer who loves reading, running and spending fourth dimension with her husband and daughters. She shares writing tips in her "What to Write" series on Hallmark & Community.

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Source: https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/sympathy-ideas/what-to-write-in-a-sympathy-card/

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